you can be a sweet dream, or a beautiful nightmare; either way i don't wanna wake up

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The Endless Journey

"A person is never as quiet or unrestrained as they seem. Or as good, as bad, as vulnerable, as strong, or as sweet. We are thickly layered, page by page, behind simple covers. And love - it is not the book itself, but the binding. It can either rip us apart or hold us together."

♥ The One

♥Elyn♥

9Teen.

020689.

Gemini

[23`]

Full Time Procrastinator

Avid recycler of drink cans in school.

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www.CozyCot.com

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Whether or not you will continue to respond, whether or not you will cease any attempts to continue trying, they will let me know how things really should be.

Prior to what I had mentioned in my 2nd last post, the next 48 hours became a whirlwind of emotions and practically life-changing (in a way) events.

After what seemed like days of upsetting crying, you made me cry tears of joy today.
What was supposed to be your birthday became a day of endless surprises and shower of unconditional love I never knew you had for me. It almost became like it was my day.
It felt just like how we began, nearly 5 years ago, no wait, this is even better. Because reality has dawned upon you, and you vowed to do something about it. And it wasn't just for today, tomorrow, next week, but for the long run.
I don't know if this is really gonna be a long-term effort, but I pray it will. And just for today itself, you made sure it was evident, you had all the elements that I love in it. And it was just perfect.

Fatin told me that maybe things are really, finally starting to make a turn for the better, as in for real, and whatever that's been in the past has finally paid off, but I don't want to be too hopeful just yet. Optimistic, but not overconfident.

But you do know, that I never wanted to leave, for if I really wanted to, I would have long gone, but I just never really stopped believing that things would eventually turn out right. Countless of times, I wondered if it was a foolish thing to do, because that was how the others see it. But God bless, I surprised myself with the level of tolerance and faith. Of course, there were times when that prospect seemed so bleak, but this persistence, I swear, has something to do with that feeling I had from our 1st phone call.

But nevertheless, I know you know this. Far too well now.

I love you.
Always have, always will.

If I could make it through back then, I don't see why I can't now. Especially now that there's you by my side.

I swear, 040309 has become like the happiest day of my life.
I am so utterly grateful, and it leaves me questioning if all this is real because I can't seem to grasp the reality of it all sinking. It's almost like a miracle, of some sort.
It leaves me in speechless and in disbelief.
I will never, ever, forget how it all occurred.
Those words on paper, signed, sealed, delivered.
The fact that you my dear, decided make it all better.
For me, for you, for us.
I had every reason to leave, but you gave me a reason to stay.
I could never ask for anything more than the bliss that came out of this.
I hope we'll get things to stay the way the are, Insyallah.

Thank you God. Thank you so, so much.

And oh, Happy 21st birthday.
Pastamania sucked. But I'll make up for it next weekend. :)

Labels: i'll keep us together whatever it takes

X O X O; 1:11 am